Today has been a hard day for me.  17 years ago my Grandma died.  I spent the better part of my childhood with her every Saturday.  I don't know why today has been so hard.  But it has.  My Mom made Grandma's chilisauce today.  I miss Grandma.  She was wise.  She was kind. She loved me. I never felt judged by her.  I felt like I was doing her a favor whenever I did her dishes.  I felt important.  She talked with me.  I never really talked, but I listened and she would talk to me and tell me stories.  I loved decorating her house for Christmas.  I think that's one reason I like Christmas so much.

 She made macaroni salad with canned shrimp in it.  I remember her making the sauce and licking it off the spoon. 

We would go to the grocery store most Saturdays.   And every time, she'd put on a new pair of pants and some lipstick.  She was very proper.  She looked like Queen Elizabeth.  We always joke that we are literally of royal birth.  In reality we do have some queens and kings as part of our ancestry.

Hard day.  It was a beautiful day!  A beautiful fall day!!  She would've loved it!  I love you Grandma!  I miss you!!