Because of our move and because it's not my time to be Relief Society President anymore, I am going to be released next week. ............................ I was going to try to put down on paper the feelings I was going through, but then I never finished them. It's been two weeks now. And I've been released for a week. Let me tell you this has been THE longest week, ever! With only my children to think about, I've definitely slacked off a lot. I cried after church on Sunday - luckily a friend took the boys and told me to come and get them when I was feeling a bit better. Two and a half hours later, I picked up the boys. I had taken some time to reflect, to write my feelings down, to pray and realize I'm not alone, even if I'm feeling VERY much alone. All was well, right? Not so. Thoughts and feelings flooded my mind and tears rolled freely down my cheeks yet again. Being the Relief Society President gave me something to focus on in a very difficult time in my life. It gave me purpose. It gave me the ability and desire to live for a greater cause. So, being released made me feel empty, numb, and insignificant. I know, in my heart that I still have a purpose and a greater cause in helping my boys. But I couldn't get out of this slump. Needless to say this week has been a LONG week! Scott didn't have school all week; I no longer had exercise group I was in charge of, so there wasn't a reason to get up and get moving. And Brock talked back to me EVERY time I asked him to get ready for school, or to come and eat breakfast or to brush his teeth. I didn't have the energy to fight with him, so Brock was late Monday and Tuesday. Wednesday we finally got him there on time. Then Thursday I had him skip school for our own personal field trip. :) And now it's Friday. I know I was supposed to be in this calling. I know I'm supposed to get ready for our move now and it's time to move on. It's just hard sometimes. Especially when I'm all alone. I was talking with my friend Amy and telling her that all I want is a BIG hug and no one gives them to me out here. I don't know whether I give off the vibe that I don't like to receive hugs or what, but all I want is a big hug! Like "Bones" the other day when she had Booth there to give her a hug. I want my "Booth" to give me a hug. I guess I'll have my boys give me some hugs and do an awful lot of praying. I know I'm not alone. But I sure do feel alone.